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 Personal Stories 

 

 

 Dear Red


     To Whom It May Concern


      I would like to start my testimony by saying I am NOT a man of blind faith. I have to see it to believe it. Seven years prior I heard about a healer named Red Duke, I really did not believe in such a thing, but as I suffered from severe emotional problems I thought that it could not hurt to try his healing. Red put me on his table and performed his treatment. I really did not know what to think of it. I felt his energy and knew he believed in what he was doing. Red told me it might take more sessions. I thought this could be fake, but for some reason I felt compelled to keep his flyer, so I put it in my drawer, there it sat for about seven years. One day suffering from a worsening condition, also now having developed severe ulcerative colitis taking three times the prescription dose the psychiatrist prescribed, just so I can somewhat function and get maybe two hours sleep at night, I grabbed a book that was loaned to me to try to find some answers the doctors could not give me; the book was called Spiritual Emergency by Stanislav Grof. It was about mental illness viewed as a positive transformation toward becoming a better human being with a higher level of functioning. It said that routine psychiatric care suppresses and worsens the condition of mental illness in the long run. So feeling desparate I opened the book to any random page, it said word for word what I was going through and said at this point I needed guidance from a "Spiritual Teacher". Now I knew why I kept the Red flyer all those years. Still very skeptical but desparate I called him. I felt like my head was coming right off my shoulders, had intense stomach cramps, anxieties, could not sleep an hour at night and I barely knew my own identity. When I called Red I was desparate. He was just about to leave town and was hesitant about seeing me right away because he was in such a rush to leave. But with my inability to explain and the urgency in my voice, Red knew this could not wait. So he told me to come to his house. When I got there he did not remember seeing me before and asked me what I needed help with. I explained my situation, he asked to touch my wrist then he said, "You have taken on a lot of energy, you have a strong mind just to be able to function as well as you are", then he touched my right hand and said, "Something is going to happen; the energy is going come out like this..." and he made a little swirl with his hand in front of me, counter clockwise, from my right hand as if that was the way the energy was going to come out. He said, "Just talk, say anything."  I did not understand what he was saying but I was willing to try anything. So I started to talk, telling everything that happened to me that week and what brought me there, to him. He was silent. Then he screamed something out really loud. I am not sure what he said.


     I felt a pop in my gut below the bellybutton. As soon as that happened he remained quiet. Then as I felt as if someone was pulling a string of pearls in a zigzag from both of my arms, I assumed these were my meridian lines that until then I was not sure even existed. I felt a continual energy coming out of these lines and also of my entire body. But I still didn't see anything. Then after about 30 seconds, a golden mist came out of my right hand finger, made a circle in front of us, counter clockwise, and disappeared. I still felt the energy coming out. I could not believe what I was feeling and that I was seeing such a thing. Red clearly made a reaction when the light came out. This was something that both of us could see. He told me to stay there longer and then he left the room.


     Since that day, which was about 4 years ago, I'm a new man, I'm symptom free and off all medicines, I am healthier than I have ever been, balanced, calm and sleep like a rock every night.


     Red Saved my life and this is my testimony that Red is a true healer.


Michael Gerstin


The Emperor Has No Clothes, or, Why I Joined MindFreedom International
 


By Jackie Davis


Do you remember the children's story by Han's Christian Anderson? An emperor of a wealthy city who cares more about clothes than anything else, hires two con men, who promise him the finest suit of clothes from the most beautiful cloth. The cloth, they tell him, is invisible who was either stupid or unfit for his position.  The Emperor cannot see the (non-existent) cloth, but pretends that he can for fear of appearing stupid; his ministers do the same. The con men pretend to dress him in his new suit and The Emperor then goes on a precession showing off his new "clothes". During the course of the procession, a small child cries out, "the emperor is naked!"


The emperor and his ministers = consumers, families, and "the mental health community".  The  con men = the pharmacy companies and psychiatrists, and the little child = MindFreedom International.


I remember going with my mother, to the hospital to visit my  brother on Thorazine, and thinking, "this is an improvement???" It was like visiting a piece of furniture.  Robert Whitaker's fascinating book Mad in America really opened my eyes to the way that medications for treatment of psychotic illnesses were developed. It began with pharmacy companies looking for a way to market a product that had been used for anesthesia, but had been replaced  by a better product. Looking for a market. That's the bottom line. Like the con men, in the Anderson fairytale.


Treatment is not benign. Tardive dyskinesia, obesity, diabetes, and a shorter life span are just a few of the effects of these medications. An 8 year international study done by the World Health Organization, cited in Whitaker's book. found that if you are diagnosed with a psychotic illness in a "first world" country, your chances of complete remission are 36.9%, while in a developing or "third world" country the complete remission rates are 62.7% (Whitaker, R., page 230). Makes one wonder about the wisdom of utilizing Western medicine! Safer and more effective to consult a Guadamalan or Pervian shaman if you receive a diagnosis.


When my brother gives a talk about the dangers of medication, someone always brings up the violence issue. It's a movie and media favorite! Can't think of a way to sell your product?...put a crazed killer on the front page, or in the movie trailer! In reality, the violence rate for people with a psychotic diagnosis is much lower than the rate for the general population. Perhaps we should consider putting the general population on Haldol or Zyprexa. And for that matter, does taking one's medication insure that they won't be violent? Eric Harris, one of the Columbine killers was taking his medication at the time of the Columbine massacre.  And a side effect, akathesia, of some neuroleptics can make patients more violent and suicidal (Whitaker, page 187).


When my brother gives a talk, the other thing he always gets asked is what alternatives are there to conventional treatment? THAT'S THE POINT! Its not that we have the alternatives, it's that the only research being done, is being done by the emperor's con men, the pharmacy companies. You can be sure any research the pharmacy companies do is going to be more about making money, than honoring and celebrating people who have the courage to learn how to cope in ways that don't involve lifelong medications that rob them of their money and their health! (There are a few alternatives, such as Soteria Houses, or Emergency Respite Houses, acupuncture, and yoga, and more research and money should be devoted to exploring these.)

                      

                                                                      

Sheila's Story


If you met me the first thing you'd notice is that I wear sungoggles over my prescription glasses.  I wear them not only in bright outdoor light but just about everywhere.  I used to wear them to keep from looking at the world in a squint.  Now I wear them a lot just to plain see.  They take the edge off of some of the sensory overload but not all of it, especially flourescent lights.  I have always had problems with light, extremes of temperature, filtering out background noise, and different types of allergies.  Accomplishments and getting thru the requirements of one stage of life to the next have not come easily and not without leaving behind unresolved crises to try to build the future on.  I don't know much about being able to work, school, or play without experiencing brutal exhaustion and living for years at a time on reserve energy in an effort to make my life work and be participant and responsible for myself.  Have always considered my psychiatric hospitalizations punishments for getting too exhausted. What I have just written here is not information about me that you would find in any of my psychiatric hospital records.


 

I have barely left my home for years since the last hospitalization except for the essential errands and in the last year to participate in local MindFreedom events.  The world has always been an overwhelming place for me, but psychiatric hospitalizations have been part of making it an intensely scarey, hopeless place.  You also wouldn't find anything in my hospital records about the nightmarish thoughts hospitalizations trigger and how much I live with them and how much I'm compelled to keep them on the backburner to keep from getting more unwanted attention.  I hope you will forgive for not going into detail here about the nightmare of what it's like to be hospitalized and what led up to it and and for years afterwards to have no one know or care to know how scared it left me.  Elaborating on nightmarish thoughts or experiences even privately is not something I can bring myself to do. 


 

Have come to the conclusion that psychiatry is another word for no one is listening except for what DSM's to bill for and what prescriptions or other tortures to prescribe.  I don't understand America's version of The Final Solution to disposing of its "undesirables," especially when it comes down to the maiming, killing, and debilitating of its children with harmful prescription drugs, putting profit before what is humane and makes for good common sense.  I don't know what promise or hope this could hold for any country or culture and its survival. 


 

Sheila Israel


 

A Mother's Story 

 

Michael is the youngest of three boys.  Their sister is the oldest.  From the beginning Michael had everything going for him:  good looks, charm, intelligence, imagination.  He was concertmaster of his high school orchestra and he rode the unicycle.  He loved calculus and was at the top of his class in math.  Halfway into his second year at the University of Houston he was home for  Christmas.  At 3 AM he went howling through our suburban neighborhood running full bore into a large oak tree which was the entrance to Narnia.
 
Our family doctor recommended the psychiatrist, Dr. L. who told Michael he had an Oedipus complex.  He also told him he had a chemical imbalance in his brain  and would  have to be on medication for the  rest of his life.  He told US  he didn't  know how long Michael would have to be on medication but to be careful what we said to him because he was highly suggestible.
 
When the three months of our insurance ran out Michael was dismissed from the clinic.  He had complained bitterly about Dr. L so we did not object when he wanted to call him and discontinue his services.   
 
Michael tried mightily to hide his growing difficulties staying in the real world.  He rationalized the voices he heard as coming from outer space or the FBI or the CIA.  He was placed back on medication at the local health clinic.  When he was tired of not feeling alive he would go off the medication.  And so began years pf his being in and out of hospitals  and jails.  We didn't know which was more nervewracking:  not knowing where he was or having him at home potentially violent, destructive and abusive.  On two separate occasions he beat up his father and me up while decompensating.
 
About ten years ago Vista referred him to Bailey Village when it was an ALF. He came under the auspices of the FACT team.  A pivotal event took place when Michael discovered a young man clad only in underpants sitting on his girlfriend's couch. When the young man refused to leave Michael lifted him up by  his nostrils and repeated his request.  The man  reported Michael to the  police.  This led to Mike' s being on court-ordered medication.  To protect his girlfriend Michael moved in with her.  He began smoking.  She was braindamaged and needed help with her hygiene.  Michael helped willingly.  He planned meals and shopped.  They enjoyed each others company.  They came home with me on holidays and other times as well.
 
Now he is in an apartment of his own arranged for by the FACT team.  He suffers from physical problems that began with the "pivotal event":  morbid obesity, diabetes, sleep apnea, depression, extremely low energy and bad hygiene.  Still, he shops and cooks for himself.  He has no television or radio or any way to listen to music.  He paints.  He has a violin but no energy to play it.  He has no phone. 
 
Barbara Galloway